


the dysfunctional thots [on hiatus]

by verzaubert



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Avengers Tower, BAMF Peter Parker, Bisexual Peter Parker, Bisexual Tony Stark, Chipotle, Cute, Domestic Avengers, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Loves Peter Parker, Everyone Loves Sam Wilson, F/M, Gay Steve Rogers, Generation Z Peter Parker, Lesbian Natasha Romanov, M/M, Meme Lord Peter Parker, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, New York City, Nostalgia, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Peter loves anime, Protective Natasha Romanov, Sassy Bucky Barnes, Sassy Peter, Sassy Peter Parker, Sassy Steve Rogers, Stark Tower, Superfamily (Marvel), Tags May Change, Texting, but he's somewhat ooc, lol, not really - Freeform, too! because he needs appreciation. he'll be more active in the next chapters.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-05-12 01:46:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19219111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verzaubert/pseuds/verzaubert
Summary: tony stark creates a group chat and it will become more chaotic as time passes





	1. oh shit a rat

**Author's Note:**

> manofiron: tony stark  
> parkour: peter parker  
> stove: steve rogers  
> iceonmywrist: bucky barnes  
> nat: natasha romanoff/romanov  
> rhodeo: rhodey  
> birb: clint barton  
> birbv2: sam wilson  
> sparky: thor odinson

_**7:46 PM JUNE 14TH 2019** _

**[ manofiron added parkour, stove, iceonmywrist, sparky, birb, birbv2, rhodeo, & nat ]**

**Manofiron has named the chat _the dysfunctional thots_**

 

 **Manofiron** : ok

 

 **Parkour:** why does this exist

 

 **Manofiron** : why are you questioning me

 

 **Parkou** **r** : because i can old man

 

 **Manofiron** : bitch

 

 **Stove** : watch your fucking language

 

 **Iceonmywrist** : steve you’re so fucking stupid but i love u

 

 **Stove** : i love u too

 

**Iceonmywrist** : <3

 

**Stove** : yo buck what does ur user mean 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : lol search it up 

 

**Stove** : ugh

 

**Nat** : we’re all in the same building and in the same room i don’t understand 

 

**Nat** : actually you know what i don’t wanna hear your voices just text here pleathe 

 

**Parkour** : yooooo nat up in this bitch

 

**Nat** : peter are you drunk 

 

**Parkour** : lol i’m 17 i’m underage i can’t drink 

 

**Nat** : doesn’t mean you haven’t drunk before 

 

**Parkour** : lol

 

**Nat** : answer 

 

**Parkour** : well i have obviously. 

 

**Nat** : not disappointed but not surprised either

 

**Parkour** : looooooooool !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**Nat** : ok 

 

**Manofiron** : everyone’s name is so cool and then mine is this what was i thinking 

 

**Parkour** : omg can i change it 

 

**Manofiron** : slightly scared about this

 

**_Parkour has changed Manofiron’s name to Tinystark_ **

 

**Tinystark** : wtf 

 

**Parkour** : lol

 

**Tinystark** : stop saying that 

 

**Parkour** : lol

 

**Tinystark** : just because you had a growth spurt somehow doesn’t mean i deserve this slander 

 

**Parkour** : who said 

 

**Stove** : omg u grew?????????????

 

**Parkour** : ...mayhaps

 

**Stove** : how many inches??????????????

 

**Parkour** : idk

 

**Tinystark** : he’s like 5’11 now >:(

 

**Iceonmywrist** : as he should 

 

**Nat** : as he should 

 

**Rhodeo** : stop

 

**Manofiron** : y

 

**Rhodeo** : it’s so annoying 

 

**Parkour** : but rhodey :(

 

**Rhodeo** : sorry pete 

 

**Parkour** : omg clint sam and thor are literally just lurking in the chat 

 

**Parkour** : L U R K I N G 

 

**Sparky** : and what abt it 

 

**Birb** : and what abt it

 

**Birbv2** : and what abt it

 

**Iceonmywrist** : !

 

**Parkour** : ok i hate this already i shall come back tomorrow. I’m gonna go play pokemon because i have a brain and i know how to spend my time. 

 

**Parkour** : yo anthony stop giving me that fucking look 

 

**Tinystark** : did you just 

 

**Nat** : i taught him well 

 

**Nat** : so did buck 

 

**_Parkour has gone offline._ **

 

**_Nat has gone offline._ **

 

**_Iceonmywrist has gone offline._ **

 

**_Stove has gone offline._ **

 

**_Rhodeo has gone offline._ **

 

**_Sparky has gone offline._ **

 

**_Birb has gone offline._ **

 

**_Birbv2 has gone offline._ **

 

**Tinystark** : i don’t wanna be alone 

 

**_Tinystark has gone offline._ **

  
  
  
  


 


	2. juul ain't cuul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh my god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just nod & smile y'all

**9:06 AM JUNE 15TH 2019**

**Nat is online.**

 

**Nat** : everytime peter sticks up to walls and ceilings it still confuses me. I should be used to this but no. 

 

**_Parkour is online._ **

 

**_Tinystark is online._ **

 

**_Sparky is online._ **

 

**_Stove is online._ **

 

**_Birb is online._ **

 

**_Iceonmywrist is online._ **

 

**_Birbv2 is online._ **

 

**_Rhodeo is online._ **

 

**Parkour** : o

 

**Stove** : breakfast is ready. I honestly don’t understand why this is our new way of communication but it’s cool. 

 

**Tinystark** : who the fuck decided to gift peter a juul. 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : :)

 

**Tinystark** : a juul bucky. A JUUL. what the fuck he’s 17 almost 18 he does NOT need nicotine in his system at this age! 

 

**Parkour** : you can lecture him outside of the chat. Also thanks for getting me creme. 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : ofc 

 

**Tinystark** : oh no you don’t 

 

**Parkour** : he fuckin 

 

**Parkour** : came into my room 

 

**Parkour** : and took my juul. He threw it out the fuckin window 

 

**Stove** : omg 

 

**Sparky** : omg 

 

**Birb** : omg 

 

**Birbv2** : omg 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : omg 

 

**Nat** : omg 

 

**Tinystark** : omg 

 

**Tinystark** : i made the right choice. I do not need a spider boy going to school with a juul. 

 

**Parkour** : juul is cuul 

 

**Parkour** : juul in schuul 

 

**Tinystark** : i’m literally begging you to stop. 

 

**Tinystark** : it’s a good thing it’s a saturday oh my god 

 

**Parkour** : mj has ur number right 

 

**Tinystark** : perhaps 

 

**Nat** : omg mj? Love her. She’s the only person i respect other than peter and bucky and maybe steve. Sorry tony. Sorry clint. Oh and sam and rhodey. 

 

**Parkour** : ye! Also thank ye nat! 

 

**Stove** : what happened to him calling us something like ‘mr. america’ or ‘mr.stark’ 

 

**Tinystark** : ngl i don’t know. He just got this new badass attitude toward us all of a sudden and i’m so here for it. 

 

**Nat** : ok so thanks for going back to asgard THOR. literally left in the middle of the night. don't think i didn't notice. 

 

**Sparky** : :)

 

**Nat** : oh my god peter found the chocolate waffles 

 

**Birb** : no he didn’t 

 

**Birb** : please don’t tell me he did 

 

**Birbv2** : wait 

 

**Birbv2** : there weren’t a lot left. Fuck

 

**Iceonmywrist** : you guys didn’t exactly hide it that well. 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : what exactly did you expect 

 

**Nat** : tru 

 

**Birb** : tru 

 

**Birbv2** : tru 

 

**Nat** : he just opened it 

 

**Nat** : gave me the death stare

 

**Nat** : and closed it 

 

**Parkour** : as i should 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : as he should 

 

**Sparky** : as he should 

 

**Stove** : as he should 

 

**Tinystark** : as he should 

 

**Rhodeo** : as he should 

 

**Birb** : as he should

 

**Birbv2** : as he should 

 

**_Nat has gone offline_ **

 

**Parkour** : lol

 

**Parkour** : According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready!  Ooming ! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.  Looking sharp . Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little.  Special day , graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around  the hive . You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie,  growing a mustache ? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral?

 

**Iceonmywrist** : i really don’t want to know what this means

 

**Stove** : peter please just eat your food i want to have a normal day 

 

**Parkour** : that’s on periodt luv 

 

**Stove** : i understood that reference 

 

**Tinystark** : shut 

 

**Tinystark** : go and do your homework. We can work on shit in the lab after. 

 

**Parkour** : ok 

 

**_Parkour has gone offline._ **

 

**_Tinystark has gone offline._ **

 

**_Stove has gone offline._ **

 

**_Iceonmywrist has gone offline._ **

 

**_Birb has gone offline._ **

 

**_Birbv2 has gone offline._ **

 

**_Rhodeo has gone offline._ **

 

**_Sparky has gone offline._ **

 

**_Nat has gone online._ **

 

**Nat** : fucking finally 

 

**_Nat has gone offline._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i updated again. idk i have a lot of ideas for this. mayhaps acadec will be introduced soon. also mj will be added to the avengers gc. i did not forget about wanda, bruce, loki, vision, pepper, wakanda squad, doctor strange, shield people, nor scott and hope.


	3. chipotle tingz 💅

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the wee fellow peter parker and his fellow buddies steve bucky and sam go to chipotle with mj lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl i was not gonna call peter a wee fellow but here we are i update a lot don't i i'm sorry i just have so many ideas for this chaotic ass thing o

**7:02 PM JUNE 16TH 2019**

**_Parkour is online._ **

 

**_Parkour has added Mj & Guyinthechair_ **

 

**_Tinystark is online._ **

 

**_Nat is online._ **

 

**_Stove is online._ **

 

**_Birb is online._ **

 

**_Birbv2 is online._ **

 

**_Iceonmywrist is online._ **

 

**_Sparky is online_ **

 

**_Rhodeo is online._ **

 

**_Rhodeo has gone offline._ **

 

**Parkour** : mj and ned welcome to the dysfunctional thots group chat 

 

**Mj** : wtf is this 

 

**Guyinthechair** : don’t tell me it’s what i think it is 

 

**Tinystark** : it is 

 

**Mj** : lol ur name is tinystark hahaha lol 

 

**Nat** : oh my god mj i love u ur my second child now 

 

**Mj** : ofc 

 

**Mj** : who’s ur first 

 

**Nat** : u should know 

 

**Parkour** : :) 

 

**Mj** : ah

 

**Mj** : hi peter! 

 

**Guyinthechair** : hi peter! 

 

**Parkour** : omg i love u all 

 

**Birbv2** : yo peter 

 

**Birbv2** : wanna go to chipotle? 

 

**Parkour** : ye sure 

 

**Birbv2** : i got money 

 

**Guyinthechair** : is that sam wilson 

 

**Birbv2** : ye hi 

 

**Mj** : hi i stan u, the better birb (author's note: i love both sam and clint equally pleathe)

 

**Guyinthechair** : hi i stan u

 

**Birbv2** : ye thank

 

**_Birb has gone offline._ **

 

**Parkour** : lol 

 

**Parkour** : clint is giving sam the death stare 

 

**Parkour** : like i’m not even kidding 

 

**Parkour** : he’s just staring sam down SJSKLHFBJNRML 

 

**Birbv2** : continuing 

 

**Birbv2** : omg he fuckin slapped me 

 

**Parkour** : ok so how much money u got 

 

**Birbv2** : $50 

 

**Parkour** : that’s more than enough 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : steve and i wanna go 

 

**Parkour** : sure :) 

 

**Mj** : can i go 

 

**Guyinthechair** : i wish i can go but i have to study for a test. I was absent so i couldn’t take it. 

 

**Mj** : damn that’s tuff 

 

**Parkour** : oh worm??? 

 

**Parkour** : there’s a chipotle down the street 

 

**Parkour** : u guys wanna go to that one? 

 

**Mj** : i’m down 

 

**Stove** : ye 

 

**Birbv2** : ye 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : ye 

 

**Parkour** : ok mj we’ll meet you there 

 

**_Tinystark has gone offline._ **

 

**_Nat has gone offline._ **

 

**_Sparky has gone offline._ **

 

**_Parkour has gone offline._ **

 

**_Mj has gone offline._ **

 

**_Guyinthechair has gone offline._ **

 

**_Birbv2 has gone offline._ **

 

**_Iceonmywrist has gone offline._ **

 

**_Stove has gone offline._ **

 

**__________________________ **

**8:30 PM JUNE 16TH 2019**

Peter, Sam, Bucky and Steve walked out of the tower and they already saw MJ standing next to Chipotle and waiting for them. They crossed the street, Bucky and Steve holding hands, Sam and Peter smiling at them. When they arrived, MJ smiled at them and didn’t look very impressed. She hugged Peter and the rest of the crew. 

 

“Hey there. Did you guys even want to dress up casually?” MJ said, looking at Steve and Bucky up and down. 

 

Steve was wearing a navy blue hoodie, black sweatpants, and some Adidas stan smiths. Bucky was too. 

 

They shook their heads in unison. 

 

Peter, on the other hand, wore some jeans and they were cuffed (bisexual tingz), wore a white sweater and also some stan smiths. 

 

Sam wore a black shirt, jeans, and some Nike sneakers. 

 

MJ wore a green sweater and mom jeans, as well as some navy blue Converse. 

 

“Can we go in? I want some food.” Bucky said. 

 

As the crew walked in, they didn’t even notice that the Chipotle was empty. This was rare. This Chipotle was always crowded and now it was empty. It wasn’t that late. They walked up to the ordering area and started to order. 

 

MJ went first. 

 

“Can I get a bowl? Yeah, brown rice. Black beans. Steak. Guacamole, please. Uh, mild. No sour cream. Cheese please.” 

 

She got the food and some water.    
  


She paid and then said “Thank you!” 

 

She walked up to a random table at the back and sat down. 

 

Everyone ended up getting bowls and sat down. Bucky and Steve next to each other, Sam next to them, and Peter and MJ across. 

 

“So, MJ,” Steve said through loud chews, “You go to Peter’s school?” 

 

MJ nodded. 

 

“You guys are part of the Decathlon team, right?” Sam added in.

 

Peter and MJ both nodded. 

 

“You know a kid named Flash?” Bucky said. 

 

Peter’s eyes widened. Before he could say anything to MJ, MJ began to speak. 

Oh god.

This wasn’t going to end well. 

 

“Of course I do. He’s super annoying and says a bunch of rude shit to Peter, and it fucking sucks. I try to get him to stop, but he keeps on talking about sensitive topics. Like, really, sensitive topics. Peter literally just ignores him. Once in a while, he sasses Flash.” 

 

“What kind of sensitive topics, might I ask?” Bucky said, looking at Peter, who nodded. 

 

“Like.. uh. Well. Peter’s parents. Peter’s parents died a while back and Flash starts making fun of him for it. It’s seriously messed up. I slapped him many times with a book- hardcover, thankfully- in the face when he says it. He gets mad but I still haven’t gotten suspended for that. That dick needs to be taught a lesson.” 

 

Sam, Bucky, and Steve’s faces were a mixture of shocked and mad. They already knew what they were gonna do. 

 

“We will.” Steve said. 

 

Peter’s eyes seemed to widen even more, it was almost comical. 

 

“H-how are you gonna do THAT? I can just fight him, I don’t know-” Peter started to stutter. 

 

“You’ll see.” Sam said. 

 

“Oh. Okay. Um. I’ll see what you do, I guess-” 

 

“Peter. You never talk like this anymore. What happened to all of your confidence?” MJ asked. 

 

“That confidence just goes away whenever Flash is around. I don’t even know. I can easily insult him, fight him, ya know? I just DO NOT need Flash to start bullying someone else instead of me. I got powers. Fucking powers! Enhanced!” Peter exclaimed, earning a compassionate glance from everyone. 

 

“Peter, despite you being pretty badass, you’re still way too precious.” Bucky said. 

 

Peter smiled at that. 

 

Everyone was finished with their food and drinks. They threw out the bowls and cups, and walked outside. It was raining pretty badly, and people were just running around without umbrellas. 

 

Sam, Bucky, Steve, Peter and MJ were not prepared for heavy rain. 

 

“Hey, MJ, do you wanna stay the night at the tower?” Peter suggested. 

 

MJ nodded. “Sure, don’t see why not.” 

 

“Good choice! You’re gonna finally meet the Spider-mom, none other than Natasha Romanoff.”

 

“Cool. My parents are away, so I’m just home alone for a few days. Business things.” MJ said. 

  
Sam, Bucky and Steve were all grinning and nodding when Peter mentioned Natasha. The crew ran towards the tower and entered. 

 

Fun times. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way, my version of steve, peter, bucky, sam, and mj are like this   
> steve: nomad/bearded (superior look)   
> bucky: catws look, just without the hydra arm, etc.   
> sam: interpret any look with sam because he always looks good   
> peter: he has longer hair, like the devil all the time hair because it looks nice   
> mj: she wears natural makeup and dresses a little more like zendaya   
> kinda ooc but :)


	4. i don't know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter i was busy   
> also zendaya's mj hair- ugh amazing, spectacular, one of a kind never done before

**3:47 PM JUNE 19TH 2019**

**_Parkour is online._ **

**_Parkour has changed his name to Yamiyugi._ **

 

**_Tinystark is online._ **

 

**_Rhodeo is online._ **

**_Rhodeo has changed Tinystark’s name to Tinystank._ **

 

**_Stove is online._ **

 

**_Iceonmywrist is online._ **

 

**_Mj is online._ **

 

**_Guyinthechair is online._ **

 

**Guyinthechair** : peter what does ur name mean 

 

**Mj** : he started watching yugioh

 

**Yamiyugi** : yu-gi-oh* but carry on sorry 

 

**Mj** : don’t question it 

 

**Tinystank** : rhodey :(

 

**Rhodeo** : lol 

 

**Stove** : lol 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : lol 

 

**Yamiyugi** : lol 

 

**Mj** : lol 

 

**_Guyinthechair has gone offline._ **

 

**Yamiyugi** : wdym tinystank tho? 

 

**Rhodeo** : some guy delivered mail for us and he asked for tony stank 

 

**Rhodeo** : so i said 

 

**Rhodeo** : yes this is tony stank 

 

**Rhodeo** : isn’t tiny’s name amazing 

 

**Yamiyugi** : yes 

 

**Stove** : so we haven’t talked on this chat in a while what’s been going on with u guys. 

 

**Mj** : when r u guys gonna do the thing 

 

**Tinystank** : what thing 

 

**Stove** : seriously tony 

 

**Tinystank** : o yea that thing 

 

**Rhodeo** : uncultured swine 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : uncultured swine 

 

**Tinystank** : sorry :(

 

**Stove** : here’s the thing we already know what we’re gonna do but sam is sleeping rn and so is clint so we couldn’t do it. When they’re woken up its absolute madness luv <3

 

**Mj** : omg 

 

**Yamiyugi** : omg 

 

**PRIVATE CHAT BETWEEN MJ AND STOVE**

**3:56 PM JUNE 19TH 2019**

 

**Mj** : what r u gonna do w flash tell me 

 

**Stove** : ok so basically 

 

**Mj** :.. 

 

**Stove** : we’re going to come to midtown when you guys are leaving and we’re going to pick up you peter and ned, then we’re going to have a nice long talk with flash. 

 

**Stove** : got it? 

 

**Mj** : who’s coming 

 

**Stove** : me bucky tony clint sam rhodey and nat 

 

**Mj** : ok 

 

**Mj** : and also 

 

**Mj** : got it 

 

**_Stove has gone offline._ **

 

**_Mj has gone offline._ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk about the yami yugi part my headcanon is that peter likes anime and card games and he decided to watch yugioh and the only reason why is because it just occurred to me that i used to watch yugioh like 3 or 4 years ago and i remember i used to be obsessed w yami yugi ok goodbye everyone do not forget to brush your teeth drink water and have a radical time with life


	5. confrontation filler chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we are just constructs living for a certain amount of time before dying and either turning into a pile of ash or be placed six feet under decomposing until life ceases to exist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is also a somewhat filler chapter. i'll be super busy these next few days so i won't be able to update often.

**2:45 PM JUNE 20TH 2019**

**MIDTOWN**

 

After a long and slightly infuriating day (seriously, Flash couldn’t shut the fuck up), Peter finally heard the bell ring and practically jumped out his seat. Ned was out sick and he was stuck with MJ (that wasn’t bad though, obviously), Betty (Ned’s girlfriend but she cares for Peter too), and Flash (fuck). MJ took his wrist and dragged him outside. Betty followed close behind and, ironically, Flash did too. 

 

“Penis, where’s your girlfriend taking you to? And why is Brant following?” Flash sneered. 

 

Peter rolled his eyes in such a dramatic fashion that even MJ noticed. 

 

“You don’t have to follow. Also, I don’t know. Fuck off.” Peter flipped Flash off (showed him the middle finger), but it didn’t have an effect. Flash kept on following. 

 

When the kids got outside (technically they were at the back of the school since MJ did not want the Avengers to attract attention), MJ halted. 

 

Nobody moved. 

 

MJ took out her phone and dialed Steve’s number. 

 

_ Steve’s number.  _

 

Wouldn’t this be great? 

 

“Hey, where the fuck are you? We’re running low on time.” MJ whispered into the phone. 

 

After a little bit, MJ groaned. She put the phone back into her pocket. 

 

“Fucking hung up on me. Little bitch.” 

 

Peter didn’t know why Flash followed them. It seemed to be once in a lifetime. Peter was expected to get beat up like he usually does (he has two badass girls with him though..) and to pretend to be weak. 

 

Then, a large car approached the teens. 

 

Then stepped out,

 

Steve. 

 

Bucky.

  
Tony.

 

Clint.

 

Sam. 

 

Rhodey.

 

Natasha. 

 

Flash’s eyes widened and he ran up to them. 

 

Steve noticed him first. 

 

When Flash came up to him, he didn’t bat an eye or move a muscle. 

 

MJ stood silently, not surprised. 

 

Peter’s eyes widened, like usual. 

 

Betty didn’t have any words, she just stood, watching the Avengers giving Flash the death stare. 

 

Shit! 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how many cats are there in slovakia


	6. all that it takes is a little scaring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating in a while, i had no ideas lately and i was a little busy with school. i'll try to be more active and update more. thanks for reading this story, and i'm very open to constructive criticism, so please comment

“Holy shit, you’re Captain America! Iron Man! Black Widow! The Winter Soldier, oh fuck! War Machine, Hawkeye, and Falcon! Wait- how the fuck are you guys here? Why the fuck are you guys here? Oh my god. Did Michelle call one of you? How does she have your-” Flash kept on rambling until Steve stiffened up and Flash realized he put his hand on Captain America’s shoulder. 

  
Flash looked up at Steve and took two steps backward as he realized that Steve was still giving him the death stare. After a moment of silence, Steve spoke up-

 

“So. You must be the infamous Flash Thompson. Sorry-  _ Eugene _ .” Steve spoke with much venom in his mouth, and while he was speaking, the other Avengers who decided to come closer to Flash while having blank expressions. 

 

“Yeah that’s me, h-how do you know my n-” Flash started to stutter, clearly getting anxious, being surrounded by a bunch of Avengers and three other teenagers who watched with joy. 

 

“Because,  _ if it isn’t obvious already _ , we know MJ and Peter. Betty could also be considered someone we know because of them and Ned, but that’s beside the point. A little birdy told us that  _ someone  _ is insulting Peter and making inappropriate jokes about  _ certain topics _ which will  _ not be named _ . Clearly, you don’t listen to people who tell you to stop, even if you know it’s for the best, so maybe you could listen to us.” Steve cut him off, being very serious about this. 

 

“F-fine, I-I’ll stop, just don’t tell anyone about this. Please.” Flash said, surprisingly giving in very quickly. 

 

Steve smirked coldly, backing away from Flash, the other Avengers doing the same. While the whole scene occurred, Peter had his jaw open the whole time. Michelle smiled, and so did Betty. 

 

“That was surprisingly easy. But you better, and I  _ mean better _ , keep your promise and not say that disgusting shit to Peter.” Natasha said, staring Flash down. 

 

“O-ok.” 

 

“Thank you. Now, let’s go Peter, MJ, and Betty.” Natasha said, letting the other three teens get into the car. 

 

The Avengers piled into the car, leaving Flash confused and wide eyed. 

 

After a moment of silence, Betty decided to say in a very monotone voice,

 

“ _ What the fuck just happened _ ?”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh this chapter is really short sorry


	7. iced caramel latte

**5:34 PM JULY 22ND, 2019**

**_Yamiyugi is online._ **

**_Mj is online._ ** **_  
_ ** ****

**_Tinystank is online._ ** **_  
_ ** ****

**_Stove is online._ **

**_Iceonmywrist is online._ **

 

**Tinystank** : alright which one of u little fuckers took my iced coffee 

 

**Mj** : tony stark drinks basic bitch juice 

 

**Tinystank** : that’s bullying 

 

**Mj** : haha bitch 

 

**Tinystank** : ok u assholes that actually live here,, someone here took my coffee 

 

**Yamiyugi** : are u sure about that 

 

**Tinystank** : are you questioning me 

 

**Yamiyugi** : perhaps 

 

**Stove** : ok tiny u need to look around the room ur in and find the iced coffee 

 

**Stove** : wait what type of iced coffee is it 

 

**Yamiyugi** : medium iced caramel latte from dunkin 

 

**Tinystank** : medium iced caramel latte from d

 

**Tinystank** : u literally just 

 

**Yamiyugi** : what me no i didnt 

 

**Stove** : peter u idiot 

 

**Mj** : peter u idiot 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : peter u idiot 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : wait since when does… tony drink an iced caramel latte… 

 

**Stove** : omg u right 

 

**Yamiyugi** : guys this isn’t the most important thing,, he just got the most generic thing he can think of he’s chasin g,e.

 

**Stove** : it seems that the young arachnid was caught 

 

**Mj** : hey have you guys ever thought of turning the tower into a vsco hangout 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : omg that’s a great idea 

 

**Stove** : bucky… do you have… vsco

 

**Iceonmywrist** : perhaps i do, what are u gonna do abt it 

 

**Stove** : follow me wtf 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : oh ok what is it 

 

**Stove** : immasteveyourman 

 

**Mj** : is that supposed to be ‘imma steal your man’ 

 

**Stove** : ..perhaps 

 

**Iceonmywrist** : oh my god 

 

**Mj** : oh my god

 

**Yamiyugi** : walk a mile in these louboutins 

 

**Mj** : peter,, are u,, alright 

 

**Tinystank** : no he’s not, got my fukcin coffee back 

 

**Mj** : damn 

 

**Stove** : peter’s pissed man 

 

**Mj** : as he should be

 

**Tinystank** : as he should be

 

**Iceonmywrist** : as he should be

 

**Yamiyugi** : as i should be

 

**Stove** : pfft

 

**Stove** : alright gays 

 

**Stove** : sorry i meant guys uhhh 

 

**Yamiyugi** : wow  

 

**Stove** : reminder to never search up captain america fanfiction 

 

**Yamiyugi** : ..why would you search it up in the first place 

 

**Stove** : ..

 

**Iceonmywrist** : other people are alright with it steve you’re obviously not alright with it because it’s fanfiction about you but reminder that people actually have great ideas and they have a role model and they won’t let it go to waste, even if it is smut 

 

**Stove** : inspirational, barnes

 

**Iceonmywrist** : obviously, rogers 

 

**Mj** : what the fuck 

 

**Yamiyugi** : can someone teach me how to speak pig latin 

 

**Mj** : so you can be like robin from st

 

**Yamiyugi** : ye how’d u know??

 

**Mj** : i know trends bitch 

 

**Tinystark** : the amount of times the topic changed just now is beyond me wtf

 

**Iceonmywrist** : yeah i noticed that too 

 

**Yamiyugi** : what’s wrong with that 

 

**Mj** : wh- 

 

_**Mj has gone offline.** _

_**Yamiyugi has gone offline.** _

_**Stove has gone offline.** _

_**Tinystank has gone offline.** _

_**Iceonmywrist has gone offline.** _

  
  



	8. ufhdjlkewpogrijkglwre;hptoyijonglfs;pthorgpkl.e,;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I RECENTLY STARTED WATCHING AND READING THE KNY ANIME/MANGA AND JUST SAYING THAT TOMIOKA GIYUU DESERVES DA MF WORLD

**SEPTEMBER 23RD, 2019 4:20 PM**

**Yamiyugi is online.**

**Yamiyugi changed their name to Parkour.**

 

Parkour: yooooooooooo 420 blaze it motherfuckers

 

**Mj is online.**

**Tinystank is online.**

**Stove is online.**

**Nat is online.**

**Iceonmywrist is online.**

**Birbv2 is online.**

**Birb is online.**

 

Tinystank: peter

 

Tinystark: did you think about what you said 

 

Parkour: yes. 

 

Tinystark: good 

 

Tinystark: so why did you say it 

 

Parkour: h

 

Tinystark: h

 

Parkour: h 

 

Stove: h

 

Mj: shut the fuck up

 

Parkour: ..

 

Parkour: no u 

 

Mj: not a good answer bith c

 

Birb: change da world. My final message. Goodby e

 

**Birb has gone offline.**

 

Parkour: clint w

 

Parkour: u know what u r paying 4 dis 

 

**Parkour changed Birb’s name to Flintandsteel.**

 

**Flintandsteel is online.**

 

Flintandsteel: u will pay for this u know

 

Parkour: hee hee 

 

Mj: let’s say bye bye to this group chat for now 

 

Parkour: alright goodbye bitches

 

Tinystank: where tf r u lil bitches going 

 

Parkour: minecraft gc!!!!

 

Mj: :)

 

Tinystank: havw fun

 

**_Gay ass minecraft bitch asses bitch_ **

**MEMBERS: parkour, mj, guyinthechair, bettybrantuwu, shuri**

 

Guyinthechair: hey do you guys ever think that side characters are like side hoes

 

Parkour: i dont think 

 

Shuri: share if you dont think 

 

Mj: sharing 

 

Bettybrantuwu: shared 

 

Guyinthechair: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEURYGWQEOIRYGEWJK LWEROTIUJWLK;RSPOIJQLKER;OGDJREL;S

 

Mj: ok 

 

Parkour: hey guys i can’t play mr. stark sed i can t

 

Bettybrantuwu: sed 

 

Shuri: peter learn how to spell dumb hoe 

 

Mj: ok fine let’s meet @ denny’s or chick fil a at 3 am 

 

Guyinthechair: this is new york city.. We lit rally don’t have n e chick fil a’s

 

Shuri: i can get 2 new yohk in like a few hours and i can get the good good 

 

Bettybrantuwu: ight im down 

 

Parkour: shuri did you just attempt a new york accent on a mobile device 

 

Shuri: perhaps

 

**_Shuri has gone offline._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** ****

 

**_Mj has gone offline._ **

 

**_Bettybrantuwu has gone offline._ **

 

**_Guyinthechair has gone offline._ **

 

**_Parkour has gone offline._ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being really inactive school started and i had no ideas. also,, fellow new yorker here :) i can relate w da midtown kids


	9. disclaimer

im really trying to update as fast as i can but im really indulged in schoolwork and fun fact: i have no clue how many chapters this will have because uhhhhhhh it could have 100 and i would still update after but im honestly very very sorry for the inactivity with this fanfic 

on the other hand, i might be able to work on this in school but im not too sure!! and im also trying to work on a halloween fanfic (its not about halloween its like supposed to be creepy but uhh idk how its gonna end up) for kny which i have been v v obsessed with,, its a work in progress............. im also not really into the mcu as much as i used to be anymore so sometimes updating this feels like a lot of work and i know its just a gc fic but sometimes i find myself confused on what the fuck i should write. im really sorry yall but this whole fic is a mess and i'll try to fix it on my free time :,((

**Author's Note:**

> peter: *turns on travis scott*  
> peter: shut the fuck up and L I S T E N  
> if this fanfic flops i honestly dont care im writing this bc i want to  
> follow me on tumblr @liizka  
> follow me on instagram @medievhal  
> much love


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